Dear Change,
You have been a long time coming. For years, I felt stuck in patterns that weren’t fully mine, yet I carried them as if they were. The ways I was raised, the unspoken expectations, the survival mindsets. I absorbed it all, and without realizing it, I passed pieces of it down. Not because I wanted to, but because I didn’t yet see another way. But now, I do.
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the patterns that shaped me, the lessons passed down through generations, the ways we coped, the silent struggles we all carried. I see now that so much of what we repeat isn’t intentional, but inherited. And now that I recognize it, I have the power to change it. Not with blame, but with understanding. Not with resentment, but with compassion. I want my children to know that they are not bound by the past, that they have the freedom to create something new. And in choosing to break these cycles, I hope to show that healing isn’t about taking on patterns that don’t belong to you or pointing fingers, it’s about opening doors. That’s where you come in, change.
You are not easy. You have required me to sit with discomfort, to grieve for what I didn’t know, to take responsibility without self-blame. You have asked me to be honest, with myself and with others. To hold compassion for what shaped me while refusing to let it define me. You have stripped away the idea that things “just are” and replaced it with the truth: Things can be different. I can be different. And because of that, my children’s future can be different too.
This birthday felt different because for the first time, I wasn’t just surviving, I was living. Breaking these cycles has been like opening my eyes to a reality I never saw before, one where I am not just reacting to life but consciously shaping it. For so long, I was stuck in survival mode, repeating patterns I hadn’t questioned, carrying weights that weren’t mine to hold. But this year, I felt the shift. I wasn’t just marking another year, I was stepping fully into a new way of being. I celebrated not just my age, but the freedom that came with seeing the truth, with choosing change, with knowing that I am no longer bound by what was. I was present, fully aware of how far I’ve come, and for the first time in a long time, I could truly feel the future opening up before me. This birthday, I reflected on what I leave behind as my legacy, for my children and future generations, with a newfound hope.
If I could go back and talk to myself one year ago, I’d tell her this: Even in the hardest moments, even when it feels impossible, you are already changing. Keep going. Keep questioning. Keep choosing to be aware, even when it hurts. The future you is waiting, and she is free in ways you can’t yet imagine.
I never set out to break cycles, but once I started, I realized that it was never about blame, it was about choice. And so, I keep going. Not perfectly, not without struggle, but with the certainty that change is worth it. That breaking cycles is worth it. That the future I am creating is worth it.
With courage and resilience, Me
Letters To Life 