A Letter to My Body

Dear Body,

Most of my adult life, I’ve been angry at you. I’ve resented the way you don’t “look” like I wish you would. I’ve spent years trying to shape you into something that met my expectations, yet every time I looked in the mirror, I saw someone who was different than who I thought I should be.

But today, I want to thank you. I want to thank you for all the ways you’ve carried me through. This body of mine has delivered four children, endured over a dozen surgeries, and healed from infections that should have taken me down. It’s fought tumors that tried to take my life and even survived liver failure. You stretched to carry a near nine-pound baby, and you held on long enough to give me my miracle child, Ace, born at 26 weeks. Without your strength and resilience, I wouldn’t be here today.

Yes, you’ve been bruised. Yes, you’ve been broken. But you’ve also carried love, you’ve carried loss, and you’ve carried trauma. And you’ve kept going. You are a testament to resilience, to survival, to the quiet strength that doesn’t always get seen but never falters.

And even now, in this fight against cancer, you continue to carry on. The treatments have taken their toll. More radiation, chemotherapy, surgeries, scans, medications, and infusions to even count. I can feel the weight of it on you, body. The exhaustion, the pain, the days when I can barely find the energy to move. I know you’re tired. I know that every fiber of your being is working so hard just to keep me alive. I know you are weary, and I feel your fatigue. But this is not the end of our story. It’s just another chapter. You have fought so hard, and now it’s time for me to prepare you to fight again. I feel it in you again, it’s time to prepare for another round.

The battle we face is not only physical but also mental and emotional. I’ve learned that I must support you in every way I can, not just with treatment, but with care. My care. I will feed you with the nutrients you need to rebuild. I will allow you rest when you need it, and I will push you when it’s time. I have to remind myself that this is a journey that requires patience and trust, not just in the process, but in your strength.

This fight is not just about surviving, it’s about thriving, even in the hardest of circumstances. I will be kind to you when you need kindness, and I will challenge you when you need strength. Every cell in your being is working overtime, and I will be here, beside you, doing everything I can to give you the support you deserve.

As I prepare for what comes next, I reflect on the countless times we’ve defied the odds. Each time you’ve been pushed to the limit, you’ve come back stronger. This time, I trust that you will do the same. I won’t lie, it’s terrifying. But I know that I am not alone. You’ve carried me through life’s hardest battles, and now, I will carry you through this one. We’ve faced the darkness, and we’ve emerged stronger each time.

Together, we will fight again. Together, we will continue this journey with strength, resilience, and unwavering trust in one another.

With gratitude, love, and strength,
Me